Never Tear Us Apart
by Mediancat
Summary: A late season 2 story. While dealing with Angel's latest plot, Buffy and Cordelia bond, perhaps a bit too closely . . .


Author's Note: This is one of the first fanfictions I ever wrote, way back before season two was over. At the time, we hadn't even seen a Thesulan orb or the ritual of soul restoration. For the purposes of this fic, please assume that there are variants on the ritual such that it could be done as shown here.

Unlike some of my other stories, I have gone through and made minor alterations from the original form, which is still available somewhere online. Mostly typo corrections, but I have fixed a few awkwardness in phrasing. The plot remains the same, though.

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns all the characters in this fic except for LittleJohn. I own only the story.

**Cordelia**

I screamed to myself in frustration as I walked towards the Bronze's front door. How could that thoughtless moron go out of town for the weekend? Now, no boyfriend, Aura and Harmony won't speak to me, Buffy's out Slaying and even Willow and her freaky furry boyfriend were out of town for the night.

So why I am I showing up at the Bronze alone? Force of habit, and of course I am one of Sunnydale's trendsetters. How would everyone else know how to dress if I didn't show them how?

What, me in a rut?

Anyway, I paid the fee and walked in. Aura and Harmony made a big production of ignoring me. They're still sheep, and I'm thinking of developing a taste for mutton. I was about to hit the dance floor when I saw Buffy sitting at a table near the stage. I was going to walk over when I saw something else: Angel. He was talking to the band, showing them some kind of sheets of paper. Buffy knew full well he was there, but this is her social life. It's not like she can afford to start a big fight and get thrown out. After a few minutes he walked off, grinned evilly at Buffy, and headed towards the entrance. He didn't seem to see me. This fell firmly under the heading of "Good thing." Once he reached the door he turned and stood there as the band began playing.

I didn't recognize the song . . . but Buffy obviously did. Tears began to form in her eyes, then she got a majorly pissed look and stalked off towards the door. Angel flicked his fingers, and five other vampires moved in front of her. I was suddenly very glad that Angel hadn't seen me. I strained to listen.

"No, you don't. Sit down and listen to the rest of the song, or the boys here start a real big bloodbath. You can't take them all down, alone, not when I'm also here. So sit, and we'll go in peace."

Buffy tensed, but collapsed into a chair like a puppet whose strings had been cut. The song went on.

_I told you_

_If we could fly_

_'cause we all have wings_

_And some of us don't know why . . ._

"

.I'd never seen Buffy so close to snapping. I listened, really listened, to the song, and it sounded a lot like what I knew of Buffy and Angel's relationship. It could've even been a song they liked, or thought of as "theirs." And now Angel was torturing her with it. It was so . . . so . . .rrghhh! I stomped my feet in frustration.

The song ended and Buffy broke for the ladies' room as the vampires dispersed. I got up to follow her, but before I got there I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. I spun out of Angel's grasp.

"Well," he said cheerily, "A witness."

"Get back, Angel," I said, pissed.

"You don't frighten me, Cordelia," he said. "Xander, Willow, Giles, they might try to do something about this. But you?" If he was trying to piss me off, he was doing a really good job. I wasn't happy to see Buffy this upset, either.

I said angrily, "Don't do that again, Angel."

"Or what?" He laughed. "What are you going to do, Cordelia? Shop me to death?" He walked off, vastly amused. Much as I hated when people laughed at me, I realized Buffy needed me more. I walked to the ladies' room.

Muffled sobbing came from the second stall. I knocked on the door and she said, "Someone's in here."

"I know, Buffy," I said. "I saw everything. Wanna talk?"

The sobbing stopped and she slowly opened the stall door. "Cordy?" She swore. "Damn! I was hoping no one else had seen that."

"I'll pretend I didn't, if you'd like."

She smiled. "No, Cordy. Actually, it'd be nice to tell this to someone. But you have to promise. You can't tell Giles, you can't tell Xander, you can't tell Willow. Got it?"

"Got it."

"The night Angel lost his soul? I didn't tell you how. We--made love. That made him happy, and that one moment of happiness made him lose his soul. But he didn't lose it right away. As we drifted off to sleep, he got up and turned on the radio, and it was playing this song, which just seemed--so perfect, you know? It's INXS' _Never Tear Us Apart_. Well, ever since he--he turned, any night he finds me alone in the Bronze he has the band play this song. If I try to stop it, he threatens the customers. It's getting so I--I don't want to come in here any more! And that's exactly what he wants."

"Euhhhh!" This was so unfair! "Anything I can do?"

"No, Cordy, but thanks for listening. You've been really sensitive tonight." She blinked. "Say, are you possessed or something?" She grinned weakly, and I ignored the insult. She started wiping off her tears, and I walked over to give my face a quick once-over.

Harmony walked in the room and saw Buffy upset and me looking in the mirror. She sneered, "Aww, what's the matter, Buff? The weight of your no life come crashing down on you?"

Buffy said tiredly, "Knock it off, Harmony," but the comeback was lame and they both knew it.

She turned to me. "Done your charity work for the night, Cordelia? Then come on out and join the fun. Leave losergirl in here."

I turned, grabbed Harmony, and threw her up against the wall. "Loser?" I said. "Loser? We've had this conversation before, but apparently it didn't sink through that wading pool you call your brain. You don't know who Buffy Summers is, you don't know the problems she has, and you don't know the pain she's suffered. Back the hell off, muttongirl!"

Aura and other former members of my entourage had entered without me seeing and saw the last part of my threat, but I was too mad to care. I let Harmony go. She backed off and said to them, "Look, girls. Another soul lost. She must have caught one of Buffy's psychoviruses. Let's get out now before we're also overcome by these sudden urges to throw our _ex_-friends into walls!" They left, and Buffy burst out laughing. Then she came over and hugged me.

"Thanks, Cordy. I needed that." She was still giggling.

"Want me to drive you home?"

"Naah. Got some Slayage to do. But you could take me to the cemetery."

Bonding moment . . . wow. As we walked out I could see that even though Buffy was smiling she was still upset underneath. I looked at the stage. This wasn't over.

But what _was _I going to do? Shop him to death?

**Buffy**

I sat in the Bronze alone. Sure, it was a risk, but I wasn't going to let my ex spoil my fun.

Sure. What fun? Xander's in LA visiting a cousin and Willow and Oz are out of town getting "smoochies" after a Dingoes Ate My Baby's gig. I never thought I'd be so desperately hoping to see Cordelia.

Wow, what a change a year makes, huh? Last year at this time I wouldn't even have thought Cordy qualified as a human being now, she was - - a friend? Well, sort of--she was dating Xander, and they both seemed to be happy, and--damn. Angel, on stage, talking to the band.

Demons to diamonds he's getting them to play "the" song. I won't crack in public. He's not going to get the satisfaction. Then he walked off the stage and grinned at me. Two months ago I would have melted at that grin; now I did my best to freeze.

There will be no thaw. There will be no thaw.

Then the band started playing. It was the song all right.

_I...I was standing...you were there..._

I'm the Slayer, dammit. I don't have to put up with a vampire torturing me, even if he is an ex-boyfriend. I got up and walked towards the door. Angel got in front of me, and gestured to several other vampires that had been in the Bronze. The club was as close to neutral territory as the vamps could get from me as long as they didn't feed, they were safe. Inside.

"Out of my way," I said angrily.

"No, you don't," he told me too sweetly. "Sit down and listen to the rest of the song, or the boys here start a real big bloodbath. You can't take them all down, alone, not when I'm also here. So sit, and we'll go in peace."

My muscles tensed, but I flopped down into a chair. I might have actually been able to take them all on, but it wasn't worth the effort or the other patrons' lives. The song continued.

I wasn't going to cry in front of him. When the song was over, though, and I saw the bloodboys dispersing, I ran for the ladies' room and wept in one of the stalls. I'd done it. I hadn't cried in front of him.

Proud much?

A few minutes later someone knocked on the stall door. No one else in the restroom and they knock on my stall. Figures. "Someone's in here," I called out.

"I know, Buffy," the voice said. Cordelia! Damn. "I saw everything. Wanna talk?" God, I needed to tell someone--and Xander and Willow would go off half-cocked to kill Angel while Giles, well, let's just say he's not the ideal person to make emotional confessions to. I could trust Cordy not to run off and do something stupid, and she does have a heart--and, anyway, she's here.

"Cordy?" I said, reaching up and unlatching the door. "Damn! I was hoping no one had seen that."

"I'll pretend I didn't, if you'd like." Who was this masked woman? She looked like Cordelia, only...sensitive. And she was offering me a way out--which I didn't really want. I gave a quick smile and said "No, Cordy. Actually, it'd be nice to tell this to someone. But you have to promise. You can't tell Giles, you can't tell Xander, you can't tell Willow. Got it?" There. That should cover me. Even Cordy wasn't dense enough to tell my mother.

"Got it."

So I told her about the night Angel and I made love. The curse took a while to to-cut out his Angelness and leave only Angelus behind, so he'd turned on the radio, which had happened to be playing _Never Tear Us Apart. _It had seemed so perfect at the time, and became so not so quickly.

I had that song on CD. Accent "had." The first time I heard it after, I choked up, ripped the CD from the player and smashed it into a million pieces. Almost literally. Dust.

I was done Cordy said, "Euhhhh! Anything I can do?"

"No, Cordy, but thanks for listening. You've been really sensitive tonight." I paused, then blurted out, "Say, are you possessed or something?" Nice going, Summers. Cordy shows some sensitivity and you insult her. I sniffled.

Harmony walked in the room and glared at me. She'd taken over the role of Queen Bitch of Sunnydale now that Cordelia'd discovered the joys of occasionally acting like a human being. "Aww, what's the matter, Buff? The weight of your no life come crashing down on you?"

"Knock it off, Harmony," I told her, in no mood for witty banter.

She turned to Cordelia. "Done your charity work for the night, Cordelia? Then come on out and join the fun. Leave losergirl in here." I was set to ignore Harmony's feeble insults, but if I thought I'd been shocked by Cordy's behavior so far, that was nothing compared to what came next. She grabbed Harmony and threw her up against the wall. Much like I'd done to her way back when.

"Loser?" Cordy shouted. "Loser? We've had this conversation before, but apparently it didn't sink through that wading pool you call your brain. You don't know who Buffy Summers is, you don't know the problems she has, and you don't know the pain she's suffered. Back the hell off, muttongirl!"

Wow! Go, Cordy! I guess I've been a bigger influence on her than I thought. Now, should I be happy or scared? I suddenly realized that I hadn't thought about the song in at least a minute. Thanks, Cordy.

I spun to the door and saw Aura and some other of Cordelia's fake friends. She dropped Harmony, who caught her breath and backed away with a look of fear in her eyes.

Harmony told the newcomers, "Look, girls. Another soul lost. She must have caught one of Buffy's psychoviruses. Let's get out now before we're also overcome by these sudden urges to throw our _ex_-friends into walls!" They left, looking nervously behind them.

I couldn't control it any more. I started laughing a lot harder than necessary. Then I walked over and hugged -- hugged? -- Cordelia. Whoa. Twilight Zone moment.

"Thanks, Cordy. I needed that," I giggled.

"Want me to drive you home?"

"Naah. Got some Slayage to do. But you could take me to the cemetery."

We walked out together. I saw Cordelia stop and give the stage a really dirty look, which I shared. It was good to have someone to share this with.

She drove me to the cemetery and I got out and waved goodbye. She surprised me again by reaching into the back and pulling out a cross and a bottle of holy water and following me out of the car.

"I'm not leaving you alone yet," she said. "You're still upset. You think Xander'd forgive me if I let you get killed because you were brooding about Angel and his petty revenge? He'd dump me in a cold minute. So right now I watch your back. _Right now!" _She threw the water bottle over my shoulder and I heard a scream. I whirled. A pair of vampires. How'd I miss them?

I knew how. I punched the one Cordy's holy water had splashed and grabbed a stake. The other one moved towards Cordy, but I had my hands full with the burn victim. She kicked my legs out from under me and leapt on top of me, fangs bared. Cordelia screamed and I rolled over and staked the vamp. Twice. Twice, before she was ashes. Twice? I was slowing down. I threw myself to my feet...and Cordelia was standing there, panting, covered with ashes.

"You killed him?" She showed me the pointy end of her cross. "I screamed, he thought I was wigging out, he left himself open, poof, no more vampire. And as for you, exhausted much? You left yourself way open for her to jump you. That song got to you more than you thought, didn't it?"

"No." It bothered me, but it wasn't upsetting me badly enough that a rookie should've gotten the drop on me. And what happened to my radar? I should've seen them coming. I reached into the bag for the crossbow and aimed for a gravestone fifty feet away. One dead center, one off the edge, and three misses. It wasn't my best weapon, but I wasn't that bad. I walked over to Cordelia and tried to pick her up. She didn't move.

I strained and finally did it. It shouldn't have been a strain. Something was majorly wrong. My Slaying powers were on the fritz.

"What's wrong?" Cordelia asked.

"Beats me. We need to ask the expert." From off in the distance I heard "Never Tear us Apart" again, from a cassette player. I started crying again and stumbled into the car. "Go, Cordelia! I choked out. "Library!" As we drove off I couldn't take it any more. I cried all the way to the high school.

**Cordelia**

Excuse me? First two vampires sneak up on Buffy and then I Slay one? Someone page Rod Serling, please, we have _so _stepped into the Twilight Zone...

"I screamed, he thought I was wigging out, he left himself open, poof, no more vampire. And as for you, exhausted much? You left yourself way open for her to jump you. That song got to you more than you thought, didn't it?" It must have. Buffy hasn't been this distracted since Angel went bad.

"Angel..." I thought dreamily, then shook myself. Where had that strong emotion come from? I just thought he was a total babe, Buffy'd loved him. I guess I was just starting to feel a little sympathy.

I was brought out of my zone-out by the sound of a crossbow bolt clattering against a gravestone. Two out of five. I didn't pay too much attention to Buffy's moves -- major understatement -- but this shook her. Then suddenly she walked over and grabbed me at arm's length under my left shoulder and picked me up.

Eventually. Whoa, check that: _eventually_. Buffy's a superwoman, she should've been able to toss me across the graveyard. I mean, once she jumped onto a second-floor balcony of a club--wait a minute. I wasn't there!

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Beats me. We need to ask the expert." That'd be Giles. Talk about no social life! Not that he has time--

The same song that was playing at the Bronze echoed from a far corner of the cemetery. Again? I thought. I was going to kill that slimebag. I looked for the source of the music when Buffy started crying and acting all flustered. She stumbled into the passenger door and cried out, "Go, Cordelia! Library!"

She tried to pull herself together all the way to Sunnydale High. This was way more than being upset over a song. It had to be some kind of spell, or curse, or something.

We got to the library. Giles was sitting at a table reading a notepad of some sort.

"Giles," Buffy and I said together, which was really weird, because she and I are usually in sync about nothing.

Giles said, "Buffy, you've been crying. Is everything all right?"

"Giles, think a minute," I said. "Does Buffy just go off and cry for no good reason? Of _course _everything isn't all right. Buffy. Show him what you showed me."

"She's in no condition to show me anything, Cordelia. Come here, Buffy. Sit down and tell me what this is about." So Buffy explained the situation, leaving out nothing, but glossing over the part where she and Angel made love. I'd say Giles had heard that before and wasn't wildly enthusiastic about hearing it again.

Like I'd be, you know?

She finished with, "So what's causing this? Some kind of spell or curse thingie, right?"

"That seems obvious. But if it's draining your Slaying abilities it would have to be sending them somewhere. They wouldn't just disappear. I-In fact, that's impossible."

He walked over and unlocked the rare books cage, bringing a large book back out. Embossed on the cover was the word _ALMAGEST. _This concerns a group of very powerful spells. There are a number of transference spells in here. Give me a moment."

We waited. Buffy pulled a hairbrush out of her big bag o'Slaying and nervously brushed her hair. I paced the room, worried, irritated, and frustrated. Then I started worrying about why I was so worried, irritated, and frustrated. It shouldn't be bothering me this much. I'm Cordelia Chase, dammit! Once the Slayer and Watcher take over, my work is pretty much done. I should be worrying about my hair, or my skin, or my clothes. Why wasn't I?

Guess I really did bond with Buffy back there.

Giles slammed the book shut. "My hunch was right. The spell affecting you, Buffy, is a simple but powerful transference spell. In this case, triggered by sound. As it leaches your powers away, it gives them to a nearby potential Slayer. This serves two purposes. It weakens you and it confuses a potential future Slayer, whom the vampires may be able to track down and identify."

"Why did it have to be _that _song?" Buffy asked.

"It didn't have to be that song, Buffy. It could as easily have been a Brahms Concerto, a Cole Porter tune -- or, for that matter, a laugh track. The sound is the important part here. Angel no doubt picked that song because he felt it would distract you until it was too late. And if it wasn't for Cordelia, it may very well have been." He turned to me. "Thank you, Cordelia."

"So, how do we reverse this?"

"I don't know." Then a vampire broke into the library carrying a radio playing, you guessed it, _Never Tear Us Apart_. Buffy jumped back. Rrrghh! This was getting to be too much. I jumped up, grabbed a stake, and charged him.

"Sorry," I sneered, "Visiting hours are over. Come back tomorrow morning." The vampire leaped at me and I dodged easily. He looked at me like he didn't know who I was. Maybe he was new in town. "Oh, that's right. You can't. Well then, guess I'll just kill you now." Within seconds he was ashes. I turned.

Buffy and Giles were staring at me like I'd sprouted an extra head. "What?" I asked. "All I did was Slay...a...vampire. Oh God!" I flopped down onto the floor.

Giles said, "Dear Lord, no." Buffy looked puzzled. "Let's just put it this way. If what I now suspect to be true _is _true, then it is definitive proof that God has a malicious and twisted sense of humor. Come here, Cordelia." I walked over, puzzled. "Pick Buffy up the way she did you."

"But I--"

"Just do it." Giles, the walking Nike ad? I reached over, grabbed Buffy under her right arm with one hand, strained and...

Lifted her off the floor. Hold on.

"Working out much?" Buffy snapped, then pulled out her crossbow. She handed it to me and pointed towards a globe at the far end of the library. I squeezed off five shots. I hit the globe with two and missed with three, which was amazing. I hadn't thought I even knew how to load one of these things.

Giles said, "Well, it appears we know who Buffy's powers are being drained into."

Buffy looked up in amazement. "Cordelia? Cordelia a potential Slayer? Excuse me, what alternate universe have I just stepped into?"

Giles paused. "It gets worse. You also seem to be sharing personalities. Witness the one-liners Cordelia used, and your somewhat--snappish and emotional attitude. It must be your proximity to one another; you are beginning to share personality traits, and I suspect memories as well. If this continues, soon, neither of you will be able to function. Pardon me a moment." He reopened the _ALMAGEST_ and started reading.

I sat down across from Buffy and idly picked up the notepad Giles had been scribbling on. There was a heading, "Spell of Soul Restoration" and underneath were notes about bringing a soul back to an undead...being...

Like Angel.

**Buffy**

We finally got to the library's front door. I was still sniffling a bit and this bothered me. First, there was the spell; second, it was absolutely _ruining _my mascara.

I looked up. Giles sat at a table, studying something on a notepad.

"Giles," Cordy and I said together. We exchanged looks. Giles looked up, thrust the notepad aside, and said "Buffy, you've been crying. Is everything all right?"

Cordy said, "Giles, think a minute. Does Buffy just go off and cry for no good reason?" I don't, actually. Just call Cordelia perceptive girl. She finished, "Of _course _everything isn't all right. Buffy, show him what you showed me."

"She's in no condition to show me anything, Cordelia," Giles told her with an irritated look on his face. "Come here, Buffy. Sit down and tell me what this is about."

I told him what had happened, everything from the song to the fight in the graveyard, ending with, "So what's causing this? Some kind of spell or curse thingie, right?"

"That seems obvious. But if it's draining your Slaying abilities it would have to be sending them somewhere. They wouldn't just disappear. I-In fact, it's impossible."

He got one of his Big Powerful books from the cage. An actual spellbook. Giles didn't keep too many of those in the library; too much of a temptation on the off chance someone decided to see exactly what the librarian thought was important enough to lock up. Like anyone paid enough attention to the library to notice! Wise up there, Buffy--

Giles explained, "This concerns a group of very powerful spells. There are a number of transference spells in here. Give me a moment."

While Giles read, Cordelia stalked around the room so hard I thought she was going to wear a hole in the floor. I brushed my hair, trying to get out some of the tangles created by the night's activities. It's going to take a good shampoo and conditioner to get my hair back to normal, I concluded. Slaying might be a holy duty, but it was murder on the follicles.

"My hunch was right," Giles suddenly said. "The spell affecting you, Buffy, is a simple but powerful transference spell. In this case, triggered by sound. As it leaches your powers away, it gives them to a nearby candidate for Slaying. This serves two purposes. It weakens you and it confuses a potential future Slayer, whom the vampires may be able to track down and identify."

I said, "Why did it have to be _that _song?" Why?

"It didn't have to be that song, Buffy. It could as easily have been a Brahms Concerto, a Cole Porter tune--or, for that matter, a laugh track. The sound is the important part here. Angel no doubt picked that song because he felt it would distract you until it was too late. And if it wasn't for Cordelia, it may very well have been." He turned to me. "Thank you, Cordelia."

"So, how do we reverse this?"

"I don't know." A vampire burst through the door carrying a portable boombox playing the song. I jumped back in my chair in panic, then reached down for my bag.

Cordelia beat me to it. She said, "Sorry, visiting hours are over. Come back tomorrow morning." She dodged the vampire's charge and said, "Oh, that's right. You can't. Well then, guess I'll just kill you now." And she did! What the? "What?" she asked. "All I did was Slay...a...vampire. Oh God!" She sat down.

Giles said, "Dear Lord, no." Huh? "Let's just put it this way. If what I now suspect to be true _is _true, then it is definitive proof that God has a malicious and twisted sense of humor. Come here, Cordelia." She came. "Pick Buffy up the way she did you." Whoa! When did I volunteer for dumbbell duty?

"But I--"

"Just do it." Cordelia reached over, grabbed me under an arm and . . picked me up! Weightlifter?

"Working out much?" I said. Then I had an idea. I handed her my crossbow and pointed at the globe. She competently fired five bolts at it and hit it twice. Giles said, "Well, it appears we know who Buffy's powers are being drained into."

Oh, he can't be serious..."Cordelia?" I asked. "Cordelia? Cordelia a potential Slayer? Excuse me, what alternate universe have I just stepped into?"

Giles paused. "It gets worse. You also seem to be sharing personalities. Witness the one-liners Cordelia used, and your somewhat snappish and overemotional attitude. It must be your proximity to one another; you are beginning to share personality traits, and I suspect memories as well. If this continues, soon, neither of you will be able to function. Pardon me a moment." He looked into the spellbook again.

Cordelia sat down across from me and looked at the notepad. Seconds later she threw it across at me and said, "Buffy, look." I looked at it. It was some kind of spell for restoring souls. Restoring souls...

Son of a bitch! All this time he's had a way to restore Angel and he didn't _tell me_? I stormed over, Cordelia right behind me. Giles turned. "Buffy, what --" I picked him up and threw him against the counter. Cordelia said, "You had the spell for bringing Angel back to- - Buffy, and didn't tell us?"

"Yeah!" I said lamely.

"Calm down!" Giles ordered. "There's a good explanation." He sat down on the counter and pulled out of my grip.

"What?" We both screamed.

"Y-your condition is worse than I thought," he said. "No, I'm not stalling. Willow found a computer disk containing this spell only two days ago. We agreed not to tell you, Buffy, because we didn't want to give you false hope. Willow just finished with the program before she left for the evening, and I've spent the last few hours transcribing it and trying to locate the necessary component."

We both backed off. Giles continued. "The more important thing right now is trying to find a way to reverse or halt the spell that's affecting you. There are two ways --"

"Hello, Giles!" I said. "The most important thing is bringing back Angel's soul! I can wait." Cordelia snatched the spell from Giles' hand and read it, then gave it to me. I looked at it and asked Giles, "Where do I get a Thesulan Orb?"

"You don't," my Watcher said. "What do you think I've been spending half the night doing? Every magic shop in an hour-and-a-half radius that sells them has been either burned down or had its owner killed. Spike, Drusilla and half a dozen of Spike's most experienced vampires were seen heading off towards L.A. late last night, probably to take care of _those _shops. The closest one I could locate is called, believe it or not, LittleJohn's All-Night House of Magic, in Delano. That's a good two hours' drive, and you don't have the time right now."

Cordelia said, "Of course we do."

"No, you don't- - Cordelia. If we don't find a method of reversing this spell, I don't know what could happen. The two of you could wind up going insane. Or you could switch personalities entirely. I don't know. Why are you so determined--" He paused. "Of course. It's the spell. It's confusing your sense of priorities."

I fingered the notepad and picked up my Slayer's bag. "Are you with me, Cordelia?"

She nodded. "I'll drive." She grinned. "That should cut at least half an hour off our travel time."

"No!" Giles said, resignedly. "If you're determined to go flying off half-cocked, you can at least give me five minutes. There is a simple way of--of temporarily halting the effects of the spell. It should last somewhere between three and five hours. The problem is, it's something of a dam. It will hold back the effects of the spell until it dissipates, but once it does, the effects will flood through unpredictably. This doesn't give you a whole lot of lead time. Can I at least rely on you to come back as soon as you have the Orb so I can end the spell?" We both nodded.

Ten minutes later we were on our way, speeding westward.

An hour later we were stopped for speeding.

**Cordelia**

I'm not sure why, but for some reason saving Angel seemed more important than saving myself. Even after Giles' explanation, I _had _to help Buffy restore his soul. So when she grabbed her Slayer's bag and stormed off towards the door, I instantly volunteered to drive.

Giles got us to wait long enough to cast a delaying spell on us, but then we were off. I was so hot to get to this magic shop in Delano that I zoomed along the interstate at roughly 30 miles over the speed limit.

Buffy was singing "Go Speed Racer, Go Speed Racer..." I chuckled. I stopped chuckling when I heard the siren behind me.

By the time we got going, Buffy and I were both ready to chew trees and spit out stakes. Do you know that traffic cop spent _half an hour _writing us the ticket? Half incompetent, half letch, he asked us the same questions over and over again while making sure to take good long looks at our legs. RRRGGH! You'd think with all the money Daddy pays in taxes we'd have better people cruising the highways than this Police Academy reject.

We drove dead-on speed limit the rest of the way there. Hurry or not, I wasn't that interested in getting _another _ticket. We hit Delano exactly two hours after we left. Then it took us another twenty minutes to locate Onion Street, then five more minutes to find the store.

As Buffy and I sprinted from the car it occurred to me: Why was I so hot to restore Angel's soul? He wasn't my boyfriend! Sure, I cared about Buffy's pain -- and I certainly would have gone rushing off for someone I cared as deeply about -- but Angel wasn't that, for me. Something was telling me that this _had _to be done, way more Buffy's feelings than mine.

Guess we were sharing feelings and memories. Major weird-out. I definitely come down on the side of individuality.

We threw open the door and saw...a wizards' lair as designed by Siegfried and Roy. Neon, big garish signs. Towards one side was a section called "LittleJohn's potions o'Love." Color me shocked if any one of them works. It was past eleven, but the guy behind the counter, wearing a white jumpsuit, had a giant nametag that read "LittleJohn." So I guessed that, yes, he was in fact LittleJohn.

Buffy walked up to him. "Okay. Impressive store. Big and showy to please the masses." The man grinned and then frowned. "Now then," she said, "Got any Thesulan Orbs?"

"What would two beautiful young women like you want with Thesulan Orbs?" The man boomed. "How about some nice love potions for the men in your lives?" He seemed to think we were fools.

I said, "A Thesulan orb? Helps in soul restoration spells? We know what we're looking for, quit treating us like idiots."

The man started to speak. "And--and --" A wave of dizziness passed through me and Buffy's memories hit me like a tidal wave.

No. Not now. It's too soon.

**Buffy**

Cordy zoomed down the highway at speeds that would've made Dale Earnhardt green with envy.

To lighten the mood, I sang, "Go Speed Racer, Go Speed Racer..." It seemed to work for Cordy --like anything depresses her except no makeup and no boyfriend! -- but it did nothing for me. Then the world's most incompetent traffic cop showed up.

And that test said I should have a career in law enforcement? I'm very lucky Cordelia did most of the talking or I'd've been dangerously close to going to jail assaulting a police officer.

For nearly thirty-five minutes the cop did nothing more than leer at Cordy and stare down my t-shirt.

Then Cordelia, the speed queen, absolutely refused to drive above the limit. RRRGHH! Why do the most irresponsible people in the world suddenly turn prim and proper around me?

Irresponsible...why was I rushing off to get this orb? Much as I wanted him back, it could have waited until tomorrow. Doing something like this on impulse was so--so--

So Cordylike.

Giles was right, we were starting to share personalities. And memories. I suddenly had a vivid and rather pleasant recollection of making out with Xander in a broom closet. I knew that wasn't mine.

The car screeched to halt. We ran into LittleJohn's. It was Graceland, if Elvis had been a wizard. And standing behind the counter in an all-white jumpsuit was the proprietor himself.

I stormed over to the counter. "Okay. Impressive store. Big and showy to please the masses." He didn't seem too happy. Too bad I wasn't ego gratification girl. "Now then," she said, "Got any Thesulan Orbs?"

The man said sleazily, "What would two beautiful young women like you want with Thesulan Orbs? How about some nice love potions for the men in your lives?" Exactly the wrong way to get my attention.

Cordelia said, in that bluntly honest way we've all come to know and--well, tolerate --"A Thesulan orb? Helps in soul restoration spells? We know what we're looking for; quit treating us like idiots."

The man stammered, about to say something.

Then a wave of dizziness passed through me and Cordelia's memories hit me like a tidal wave.

No. Not now. It's too soon.

**Buffy/Cordelia**

I screamed. And I screamed. Giles' delaying ritual was wearing off! I staggered and put my hands on my knees. I raised my left hand to my head.

The magic shop disappeared. We were hurtling through a void.

Dozens, hundreds of memories were flooding through me. Being locked in a closet with Willow --ice skating with Angel -- kissing Xander -- being betrayed by Ford -- the invisible girl -- Merrick -- "The softer side of Sears--"

We landed on a shifting landscape.

It was a vast featureless plain. It was the library. It was the Bronze. It was the Hellmouth. It was my bedroom. It was my bedroom.

We circled each other.

"Buffy -- the spell ended too soon! What do we do?"

"Whatever we have to to survive, Cordy." A vortex swirled around us we were starting to become insubstantial. No! We had to stay together! "Grab my hand!" We said at the same time. Then we linked arms and held on for dear life. The memory vortex kept swirling, dragging us along with it.

Mom-Mother-Dad-Daddy-

Got to keep clear. Got to stay myself.

We spun faster and faster, until we could no longer tell where Buffy Summers ended and Cordelia Chase began.

Xander. Angel.

Buffy Summers.

Cordelia Chase.

Buffy Summers.

Cordelia Chase.

Buffy.

Cordelia.

Buffy.

Cordelia.

Faster. Faster.

I was Bu- I was Co-

I was--I was--

_I am._

**Me**

I am...who I am.

This makes me either God, or Popeye, or the Slayer.

I vote Slayer. I'm not omnipotent, and I _hate _spinach.

Who am I? Beats me. My identity crisis will have to wait. I have an orb to get, and a soul to save.

"Are you alright?" The shopkeeper asks. "You both screamed for a second."

"Fine," I say in unison. "Now, have we convinced you we know how to use a Thesulan orb? We're not some high-school dilettantes out looking for a cheap thrill. We have a soul to restore."

He reaches behind the counter and pulls out a bright green stone about an inch in diameter I reach for it and he says, "Not so fast. These things aren't cheap." He's given up the stage act. Thank goodness.

I pull out my platinum Visa. "We don't have time to haggle, Elvis. How much do you want?"

"Three hundred ought to do it."

"Fine," I say in unison. He gives me an odd look, which I pointedly ignore. After he gives me the orb, I tell him, "Word of warning. A group of vampires are busy knocking off anyone within two hours of Sunnydale who sells Thesulan orbs. If I were you, I'd close up shop and head east as fast as you can run."

He pales. "You serious?" I nod. "Thanks. Now, if you'll excuse me..." LittleJohn turns and runs into the back room. Thirty seconds later I hear a door slam and a motorcycle roar off. I decide to follow his lead, though I do lock the door before I go. If this all works as planned, I'd like to give jumpsuit-boy a magic shop to come back to.

I drive back to town at maximum allowable speed. That cop is nowhere in sight. I read over the spell as I go. It's surprisingly simple, but it does require two people to chant it in unison. That shouldn't be a problem now...

Two hours later we're back in Sunnydale. There's a commotion in the road ahead my God, someone's lying there! I get out of the car and see if I can help. Ten feet away from the two of them, my vampire radar flashes. Not the first time I've fallen for this trick. The one on the street gets up and holds up a hand.

"We're not here to kill you, Slayer. We just have a message for you from Angel. He has a phrase for you...quis custodiet ipse custodiet?"

"Hello? Non-Latin speaking people here!" I reach for a stake and a cross-stake and edge closer.

The other one sighs. "Haven't you bimbos ever read Alan Moore? It means, who watches the watchers? Come alone."

"Giles!" I say. The two bloodsuckers, rather prissy-looking, give a mocking bow and turn to leave. Stupid rookies. Seconds later they're dust in the wind and I'm back in the car and speeding towards the school.

Parking the car in front, I finger my cross and stake nervously and walk up the front steps and into the school.

The song plays in the background, from several different areas around the building, plus from the PA system. Angel must have planned this for a long time.

Buffy's always been such a disappointment to Angel, how can I not continue the tradition? I finger the orb and go over the spell in my head. Unison's not gonna be the problem here.

I fight my way through a dozen or so vampires. It gets harder as it goes on, but the vampires are completely unprepared for such effortless teamwork as I show them. I have only one stake left when I get to the library doors. Hey, enough wood in there to build a log cabin, Slaying should hardly be a problem.

"Buffy" slams the door open and "Cordelia" acts nervous and afraid and enters hesitantly behind. There are at least ten vampires in the room, not counting Angel.

Angel looks grandly pleased to see me -- Giles is hogtied and lying on top of one of the tables helplessly -- until he sees "Cordelia." He tells me, "Buffy, I said alone." Then he grins. "No matter. She's not much of a threat anyway. Boys!" Three vampires come and grab "Cordelia" and drag her to Angel's side.

"Now, Buffy," he continues. "Aren't you glad to see me? Come on, give daddy a kiss..." He walks over and fiercely, violently kisses "Buffy." He doesn't notice me slowly reach for that final stake that I have under my skirt. Angel wouldn't have expected Cordelia to be able to do more than hold a cross and maybe squirt some holy water. But he doesn't know me.

Before they know anything the two vampires are dusted. Angel whirls around with a "What?" and "Buffy" decks the vamp to my left and rolls hard into the bloodsucker on my right, sending him sprawling. I back up into the cage and smash a nearby chair into bits. Two sharp wooden pointy things. Ooohh, homemade Slayer sticks, gotta love 'em. I fire at the two I just attacked, slaying one and slamming the other one on the forehead. I rush up to finish the job.

With a towering rage on his face, Angel approaches Giles. He yells at me, "I was willing to let Giles live, but now..." he reaches down and firmly grabs Giles' head with both hands. "Cordelia" throws herself at Angel's feet .

"Please, please," I say. "It was my idea. Buffy didn't know. Don't hurt Giles. Hurt me instead!"

"Too," Angel tells me. "Hurt me _too_." He reaches down and pulls me up by the hair, flashes his fangs, and slams me back into the floor. I cry and beg for my life.

While I lie there sobbing "Buffy" is grabbed by two vampires and thrown up against the counter. Try as I might I can't break free. Angel looks up from "Cordelia" and tells me. "Spell finally got to you, darling? I don't even know if I love you any more. You're only half the woman you once were."

"Twice as much woman as you can handle," I snarl at his feet and trip him. On the counter, instead of rolling backwards I fall forwards, dragging those two to the floor with me. One's dust in seconds and the other decides to bolt for the door. I take the remains of the chair and toss it at her. I get lucky. A broken arm gets her in the back.

I pummel Angel with my fists, no longer having a stake. He's rapidly recovering from the shock of having "Cordelia" knock him down. I roll away, tipping over the table in the process. Giles smashes into the floor with a thud and a muffled cry of pain, but he's better off there than within Angel's immediate grasp.

This leaves three vampires and their boss. I call out. "Any of the rest of you want to get out, go now. I have more important things to worry about." One of them slides to the edge of the room, around me, and runs for the door. Soon as I'm sure he's gone, I turn back to the other two and sigh.

"You snooze, you lose..." I tell them, pulling out my crossbow. I luck out and nail the first one on the first try. "And then you snooze some more." That tears it. The other one runs for it, only to be stopped by a ticked-off Angel, who breaks his neck and leaves him lying there on the ground.

"Good help is hard to find these days," I say. "What's wrong? Spike and Dru take the cream of the crop and leave you with...well, the cream of the crap?"

"Funny, Cordelia," he sneers.

"I've got an even better punchline," I say, drawing out the orb.

He blinks. "How'd you...?"

"What are you going to do, Cordelia, shop me to death?" I throw his comment back in his face. "Visa. It's everywhere you want to be."

I hold the orb firmly and begin chanting the spell. He roars and charges at me, but I dodge. Seeing an opportunity, I pick up another chair and smash it over his head, then break for the upper level and behind the tables at the same time.

Slowly I circle the room, incanting the spell. He moves towards Giles, but without breaking stride I smash him in the head with a vial of holy water. He backs off and paws through my Slayer's bag, but as he pulls out a knife he drops to the floor and screams.

Faster and faster I chant tighter and tighter I circle. He curls into a ball and his body wracks in pain.

Then, finally, I'm done.

A few seconds later, Angel gets up from the floor and says, weakly, "Buffy?" Tears in his eyes, he comes over and hugs me fiercely, then turns around and shakes my hand. "Thank you, Cordelia."

"Please," I say. "Young love. Tragic romance. Who _wouldn't _want to help bring that back?" I walk over and, using both bodies, tear the ropes bonding Giles. Angel walks over as if to help, but Giles flashes him a look of pure hatred -- a look soon replaced by sadness.

"Go," he rasps. "Leave now. I apprehend intellectually that it was not YOU that killed Jenny , but --"

"I understand," Angel says wearily. He turns to "Buffy" and tells me, "And what about--us?"

"Right now there is no us," I say. "This doesn't mean there won't be again. We'll talk about it later, once we've all had a chance to recover." He hugs me again.

"I love you," he says.

"I love you," I tell him. "Now get." In fact, I've already forgiven him. But Angel's strong enough to get through this, and Giles -- may not be, yet. I owe him. Angel walks out the door and turns and smiles to me as he leaves. I briefly return the smile. He knows.

I turn to Giles and say in unison, "And as for my identity crisis -- don't bother. I like it better this way." He's not surprised, but I wouldn't have expected him to be. Giles may have many flaws, but being slow on the uptake isn't one of them.

"Buffy and Cordelia have the right to lead individual lives."

"They will. Just with one mind." I give him an impish grin. "Besides, think of all the fun you'll have trying to train two Slayers..."

Giles groans and throws up his hands.

**Epilogue**

And then what?

Willow, Xander, and Oz don't know everything. Xander nearly killed me, showering me with kindness and begging forgiveness for having dared to be out of town so fervently that I finally had to literally twist his arm to get him to stop. Willow and Oz were just confused. They were even more confused when "Cordelia" and "Buffy" started patrolling together, with Giles' blessing.

They all think Cordelia's Slaying because Angel's spell was halted with her having a portion of the powers, but that's a lie. Only Giles knows the truth, and he's not telling.

All the research he's done shows that the spell is now irreversible. He feels horrible, even though I've told him repeatedly that it's my own fault anyway.

I have their strengths, and their weaknesses. The strengths appear to outweigh the weaknesses.

One question he refuses to consider is the question of souls. Not Angel's, mine. In essence, Angel's soul was traded for the souls of Cordelia Chase and Buffy Summers. So is my soul a blend of theirs? Or is it a new soul, with theirs having been freed to whatever reward would await them?

I don't know. And quite honestly I'm not sure I want to.

So who am I now? God only knows. "I" don't even have a name.

I'm Buffy Summers. I'm Cordelia Chase. I am both, and neither.

Star Trek moment much?

I love Angel deeply. I also love Xander, something Cordelia was a long way from admitting to herself, much less him. It is a strain trying to maintain two separate personalities, so I don't do it much anymore. The spell serves as a very convenient excuse for the Slayerettes, but our parents are confused as all hell. Nothing I can do about that.

Each of my bodies has only half the strength and sense -- but all the skills, now that we've taken the time to practice -- of Buffy's. Giles says it's something about Slayer skills being learned, but I don't really care.

I'm more effective than Buffy ever was, despite that handicap. I am literally one person in two bodies; the teamwork is unstoppable. I killed Spike and Drusilla moments after they returned from their little sabbatical to LA. Of course, Spike was easy, being still in his wheelchair. Such a pity.

In other words, I've become the joke Kendra and Buffy made to Spike:

Two Slayers. No waiting.

And they'll never tear us apart.


End file.
